I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
