who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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