You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
