Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
