the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
