He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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