swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Houston, we have a squirter
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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