so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
