R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
