You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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