Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
