do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
