"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
