I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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