I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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