Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
