Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
