Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
