We're facebook friends in real life
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So squirting runs in the family.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So much rum. So many feels.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
