dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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