that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
