She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
