Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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