Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
