Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
