forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
