I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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