so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize