I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize