Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
