We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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