Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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