I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
