brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
