You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
