One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
