Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
