You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
