He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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