if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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