Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
