Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
