I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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