I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
