So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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