Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
