Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
