Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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