So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
