Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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