Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
