Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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