So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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