I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
