I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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