she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Houston, we have a blender
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize