no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
