I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
