Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
