What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
