im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
