your thong is hanging out like whoa
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
