Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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